Tag Archives: Guns

Can you tell Cranky Son #1 Goes to Private School?

Scary, scary, potentially life-threatening art project

Scary, scary, potentially life-threatening art project

I can – because he selected this as his art project this year and was not suspended, prosecuted, or otherwise harassed.  I did not get a single phone call from school or from the parents of any frightened classmates.  The theme was “action in sports”, in a papier mache and wire medium.  One other student selected the same topic.  At his old school, he wouldn’t have made it past the talking about it out loud stage.  Detail is important, and if you look carefully, the shooter is wearing protective glasses and ear protection.

This week’s reasons why American public schools are not really about Education:

..and more like sensitivity training, or indoctrination of some kind, but certainly not education. Maybe this will be a weekly feature.

High school teen in Florida suspended for disarming a fellow student. He did not follow the “do nothing, be a victim” program that your intellectual superiors would prefer.

A third-grader in Michigan had his birthday cupcakes with plastic army men on them taken away for being insensitive.  HOW THE HELL DID THOSE CUPCAKES GET PAST SECURITY INTO A PUBLIC SCHOOL???

A second-grader in Maryland was suspended for two days for fashioning an obviously realistic-looking handgun out of a pop tart, and pretend shooting with his pretend gun.  NEWS FLASH: little boys will make anything into a gun: plastic silverware, paper bags, dryer lint, crayons, pinecones, those little baby carrots I put in their lunches, etc.

New York City high school students require a lot of remedial help in order to function in community college.  How many?  Oh, just around 80% of them.  The NYC Board of Education boasts a 40% increase in graduation rates over the last 7 years, and claims that the number needing remedial help has dropped around a half a point. NYC schools are budgeted for around $8 billion per year.  You do the math.

Finally, there is a big snowstorm in the Boston area today, and many people are upset that the City of Boston did not cancel school.  Thousands of children were absent today, but school officials have announced that children not in school today will be marked “constructively present”.  I am sure they were home doing extra math problems, or science fair experiments or something equally “constructive”.  No bonus if you actually showed up to school today.



Dyslexic Girl Suspended for Writing Essay About Gnu

Boston, MA – Sixth-grader Elizabeth Harmon was suspended from the Jarvis Herman Middle School last week, after she authored an MCAS practice essay about her favorite gun.  Administrators at the school cite a zero tolerance policy toward speaking, writing, drawing, gesturing, and otherwise suggesting firearms or other threatening subjects.  Elizabeth’s parents, John and Susan Harmon were shocked to learn that their daughter was suspended for three days, especially since she suffers from severe dyslexia, a learning disability that impairs the ability to read, often accompanied by written letter reversal and mirror writing.  Elizabeth had actually written about her favorite gnu – named Mossberg – which she visits at her uncle’s farm in Western Massachusetts. After the Harmons contacted the school about the mix-up, administrators continued to stand by their suspension decision  because of the emotional harm and disturbing images suggested to the teacher correcting the essay, regardless of the student’s intent. The as-yet unidentified teacher is currently on leave as she recovers from the essay ordeal.   Additionally, Principal Joseph Muggers suggested that “the proper name for such an animal is “wildebeest”, which is completely non-threatening no matter how you spell it”. Principal Muggers offered no additional comments.  Mr. and Mrs. Harmon intend to continue to fight the suspension, and are considering bringing suit against the school.