Category Archives: Family Fun

Hooters Tooters (™) Coming to Your Area!

THIS IS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT

Do you have a son in Middle or High School who could use a little more guidance, attention, and motivation when doing his homework?  Are you a busy working parent in search of affordable, reliable assistance?  Hooters has heard your call, and is ready to answer!  We are proud to introduce Hooters Tooters (™)  to the Boston area!

Hooters, the national breastaurant chain you know and love for its quality food, beverage, and entertaining environment has helped thousands of its own associates achieve success through high school and college. Our logo isn’t a wise Owl for nothing! Starting in September, Hooters Tooters (™) will be available to provide tutoring in your own home for Math, English, Spanish, and French. (Chinese and Chemistry will be added in January of 2017).

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Amber is a Math whiz, with an Associates Degree in Mathematics from Woburn Community College

Your area Hooters Tooters (™) are experts at motivating young men to do their best work! Each Hooters Tooter is specifically selected for each of the academic subjects, and are guaranteed to have fulfilled advanced high school or college level requirements in each area. An on-line Hooters Tooters (™) photo and credential listing will be available on September 1st to help you decide which of our wonderful Hooters Tooters (™) is best for you!

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Your pupil will enjoy a delicious nutritious meal, like the Big Hootie Burger

Not only will your Hooters Tooter provide academic guidance and motivation, but she will also provide a nutritious, delicious meal for her pupil!  You will have the choice of the following dinner options: Original Hooters Style Wings, Big Hootie Burger, or the Original Hooters Chicken Strip Cheese Sandwich. Meals come with Big Dipper Fries and a large fountain drink (Hooters proudly serves refreshing Pepsi products).  A vegetarian option is not available, because, duh.

Hooters Tooters (™) may be scheduled for one-hour blocks in the comfort of your own home within a 50 mile radius of a Hooters location (see website for a location near you). We ask that you schedule no more than five hours per week, and that you select only one subject area per session. Hooters Tooters (™) charges $75 per hour (includes a delicious meal, tutoring assistance, and fabulous motivation).  All major credit cards are accepted; gratuity not included.  Scheduling begins September 1st!

 

Somebody did NOT want to work on Math today…

Just a doodle at the bottom of the page from Cranky Son #2:

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Wow. Horns, cool fumanchu, and icicles on my words!!

Best Bar Mitzvah – Evah!

I’ve been to a lot of Bar/Bat Mitzvah parties in my day, but none as rowdy as this one reported in the Arizona Daily Independent.  They are family events, no? This Arizona event takes the cake, but only for the seven young guests who go got to fondle a very drunk yoga instructor’s new breasts.  And although you may be men at 13 years of age (mazel tov!), only the 15-year old was treated to a happy ending.  Think there is a lot of Facebook evidence of this shindig? Read the whole thing.

Awwwww, these guys didn’t get enough hugs as children….

ISIS goes on violent rampage in Syria, raging against the blasphemy that is Mother’s Day, and any cakes that support it.  No cake for you!

You already know who they are….

Even though your kids are still kind of young, you have already figured out which kids’ parents will be the “friend parents”, and which will remain actual parental units. You already know who will be buying their kids beer. You know which kids will get cars the second they get their licenses. You know which parents don’t believe in too much discipline. You know which ones will want the kids to have a big co-ed overnight party at a hotel on prom night.  But do you know which parent will represent your spoiled rotten child in court to sue your ass for private school tuition? and then college tuition? Better figure it out soon –

A New Jersey high school senior sued her parents, accusing them of tossing her out of the family home when she turned 18 and refusing to pay for her private high school and college education.

The article about it on CNN does not inform the reader that the parent of one of the princess’s friends is footing the bill for her legal fees.  It seems princess did not want to follow the rules of the house, so she moved out.  Luckily the first part of the lawsuit was tossed, but there is more to come, since princess has been accepted into a number of fine colleges.  She wants to be a biomedical engineer!

It figures they paid attention in Church THIS week

Sunday was the start of Advent, the new liturgical year for the Catholic Church, and the start of the great Christmas count-down. Church was thinly attended, since Thursday was Thanksgiving (and the start of Hanukkah, but I don’t think that had anything to do with low attendance) and apparently most other people in town were traveling (or playing opossum). We were discussing climbing the Lord’s mountain in the first reading, then rejoicing to the house of the Lord in the responsorial psalm, and then we got to the second reading.  That’s when we heard:

Let us then throw off the works of darkness
and put on the armor of light;
let us conduct ourselves properly as in the day,
not in orgies and drunkenness,
not in promiscuity and lust,
not in rivalry and jealousy.
But put on the Lord Jesus Christ,
and make no provision for the desires of the flesh.

I gave a side-ward glance to the Cranky Daddy, and he just kind of rolled his eyes, knowing that this little nugget probably started the countdown on a difficult question grenade. The grenade blew that evening, and Cranky Son #1 apparently asked about the orgies (he pronounced it OR-gees). I have no idea what the exact questions and answers were, but the questions continued in the car this morning on the same theme of “who would want to go to orgies anyway”?  We continue to encounter these grenades (“what is auto-erotic asphyxiation?” “what’s a MILF?”, “Dad says that women have cycles, are you having yours now?”) and I’m sure the floodgates will really open when the kids have “health class” in January.  DUCK AND COVER!!!  Good Lord.

Hypnotized!!!!

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This is what Easter at my family’s house looks like….jealous?????

China Passes Law To Require Visits to Elderly Parents; US Continues Pushing Laws That Will Let you Kill Them

How can it be that China, where human life is arguably the most disposable in the world, could shame US by passing a law that requires families to visit their elderly parents, or at least “share greetings” with some frequency?  The law, an amended version of “Law of Protection of Rights and Interests of the Aged” is really fuzzy on details and definitions, but parents who feel snubbed can file suit against their miserable, ungrateful progeny. Generally no money is involved, but court-specified visitation can be ordered. Decades of “market reform” and rapid development has taken its toll on China’s extended families, and there is not a lot of infrastructure to care for the elderly who used to simply live with their families. Meanwhile, in the US, we keep trying to pass laws in many states that allow our elderly to “do the right thing” and eat poison applesauce for a “dignified death”, or to allow us to pull the plug on elders in expensive, icky, and potentially inconvenient long-term ill health.  Kind of a good thing we don’t have a law like that here – courts would be flooded with these cases, even with no money involved!

It’s gonna be a hot one ….. Hey, Kool-Aid!!!!

Hmmm.  That's not quite how I remember him.

Hmmm. That’s not quite how I remember him.

Can you tell Cranky Son #1 Goes to Private School?

Scary, scary, potentially life-threatening art project

Scary, scary, potentially life-threatening art project

I can – because he selected this as his art project this year and was not suspended, prosecuted, or otherwise harassed.  I did not get a single phone call from school or from the parents of any frightened classmates.  The theme was “action in sports”, in a papier mache and wire medium.  One other student selected the same topic.  At his old school, he wouldn’t have made it past the talking about it out loud stage.  Detail is important, and if you look carefully, the shooter is wearing protective glasses and ear protection.