Category Archives: Donkeys!

Why do Texas Middle Schools hate Asthmatic kids?

Two weeks ago a Texas middle-schooler was suspended and sentenced to 30 days of alternative school for sharing her inhaler with a fellow student who was having an asthma attack.  Both girls have been charged with “sharing a controlled substance”, and both face this stiff “automatic” punishment.  Both girls’ parents are concerned with alternative school because their daughter would be with those kids that have real drug and violence problems.  Alternative school is legislatively mandated in Texas for kids who have been asked to leave the classroom for such reasons as drug use, violence toward teachers or students, sexual offenses.  Here’s the whole scoop.

Then this week, another Texas middle-schooler was suspended for using a profanity and leaving the classroom.  Important note: he left the classroom to carry a classmate to the nurse’s office.  The classmate was suffering an asthma attack, and had passed out and had fallen out of her chair.  The teacher was waiting on an email back from the nurse before acting on the situation.  Story here.

“We ain’t got time to wait for no email from the nurse.” – Suspended Student

Hello? Have we lost all ability to reason?  If my kid falls out of her chair while having an obvious asthma attack, you’re telling me you will sit your ass down and wait for an email back from the nurse before sending her to get medical attention? Is that standard policy?  Any word of whether this is standard protocol?  Teacher discipline? Common sense police citation? Jeez, people, zero tolerance policies continue to make educational institutions silly and sometimes dangerous places.

Breaking: Obama Warns, Russia Yawns

More weak talk from the White House predictably does absolutely nothing to deter the Russians from sending troops to the Ukraine. New vocabulary words already being dispensed to press: it’s not an invasion, it is an “uncontested incursion”. So nobody, especially us, has to step in. It’s very nuanced for us common folk to understand. Get back to your cocktail party, everyone, nothing to see here!

CLIFFHANGER: Biden to Decide on Presidential Run in Sept 2015

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Uh, huh, what? Vice President Joe Biden can’t come up with a reason why he shouldn’t run for president, but he’s going to think long and hard and decide next September. I can smell the smoke from here. Good Lord.

Scientists: Texting while walking can be dangerous in short and long terms

Scientists used to come up with better stuff than this.  Another one from the “who paid for this ingenious study?” files. Even ABC News was on this story two years ago, and they didn’t tout any scientific evidence:

Awwwww, that’s so cute…

putinobama

There are actually TWO horse’s asses in this photo.

Ummmm, I think the crashing your plane part of the story caused your damaged reputation…

… not the made-up names some joker put on the air at KTVU-TV last week! Asiana airlines attorney Siu Yu has announced that the airline will sue the news station in San Francisco because it

“damaged the airline’s reputation by using bogus and racially offensive names for four pilots on a plane that crashed earlier this month in San Francisco.”

The network has since blamed an intern identified as Sum Yung Gai (who has since been released)  for the error, because, you know, summer interns generally run a major city’s news broadcast while on break during their sophomore year of college. And nobody ever checks their work, especially if they are going to a really good school, which is the only place a top-notch news station like KTVU would ever consider hiring. See the epic footage of the bogus names, and the  carefully-pronunciating anchor reporting those unusual names (which are obviously Chinese, not Korean!):

Dream Ticket

dreamticket

BREAKING: SENATE IDENTIFIES NEVADA AS “BORDER” STATE

WASHINGTON: The Senate, in passing the latest bogus amendment to its comprehensive Immigration Bill, has identified the state of Nevada as being a “border” state, which gives it equal sway to other conventional border states with respect to immigration enforcement and guidelines, etc.  Elementary school children across the country will return to school in the Fall, very confused as to the new mapping of the western United States, but if the Senate says it is so, it must be true.  They are smarter than all of us. If enacted, the CBO estimates that the Immigration Bill will spur $12 million of growth in the map re-printing sector.

On International Women’s Day: Celebrate Women Who Can Be Anti-Semitic, American-Hating Scumbags If They Want To

WASHINGTON – Secretary of State John Kerry and First Lady Michelle Obama were planning to bestow an International Woman of Courage award to Samira Ibrahim of Egypt this week.  The award has since been put on hold since Ibrahim, a women’s rights activist, seems to have been very vocal in praise of Adolf Hitler, last year’s murder of Jews in Bulgaria,  and the 9/11 attacks on the American embassy in Cairo, also last year.  Ibrahim has certainly shown that she is a woman of courage, bravely spewing violent, anti-Semitic hate in the otherwise male-dominated hatemongering world.  Break through that glass ceiling, Samira; let’s not forget that women can be destructive haters, too!  You go, girl!

BREAKING: Dennis Rodman Tapped for Chavez Eulogy

CARACAS – Diplomat and former NBA star Dennis Rodman has been tapped by Venezuelan Vice President Nicolas Maduro to deliver the eulogy for President Hugo Chavez, who this week succumbed to American spy-induced cancer at age 58. Rodman recently returned from North Korea, where he met with Kim Jong Un, who urged Rodman to ask President Obama to “call him”. Rodman raised eyebrows when he pointed out what he thought were similarities between the North Korean dictatorship and the democratic United States.
Vice President Maduro said that Mr. Rodman has been a long-time fan and supporter of Chavez, and is a friend to “misunderstood”, passionate leaders throughout the world. Sean Penn and Oliver Stone are expected to provide videotaped eulogies for the as-yet unscheduled funeral.