BREAKING: Dennis Rodman Tapped for Chavez Eulogy

CARACAS – Diplomat and former NBA star Dennis Rodman has been tapped by Venezuelan Vice President Nicolas Maduro to deliver the eulogy for President Hugo Chavez, who this week succumbed to American spy-induced cancer at age 58. Rodman recently returned from North Korea, where he met with Kim Jong Un, who urged Rodman to ask President Obama to “call him”. Rodman raised eyebrows when he pointed out what he thought were similarities between the North Korean dictatorship and the democratic United States.
Vice President Maduro said that Mr. Rodman has been a long-time fan and supporter of Chavez, and is a friend to “misunderstood”, passionate leaders throughout the world. Sean Penn and Oliver Stone are expected to provide videotaped eulogies for the as-yet unscheduled funeral.

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