Why do Texas Middle Schools hate Asthmatic kids?

Two weeks ago a Texas middle-schooler was suspended and sentenced to 30 days of alternative school for sharing her inhaler with a fellow student who was having an asthma attack.  Both girls have been charged with “sharing a controlled substance”, and both face this stiff “automatic” punishment.  Both girls’ parents are concerned with alternative school because their daughter would be with those kids that have real drug and violence problems.  Alternative school is legislatively mandated in Texas for kids who have been asked to leave the classroom for such reasons as drug use, violence toward teachers or students, sexual offenses.  Here’s the whole scoop.

Then this week, another Texas middle-schooler was suspended for using a profanity and leaving the classroom.  Important note: he left the classroom to carry a classmate to the nurse’s office.  The classmate was suffering an asthma attack, and had passed out and had fallen out of her chair.  The teacher was waiting on an email back from the nurse before acting on the situation.  Story here.

“We ain’t got time to wait for no email from the nurse.” – Suspended Student

Hello? Have we lost all ability to reason?  If my kid falls out of her chair while having an obvious asthma attack, you’re telling me you will sit your ass down and wait for an email back from the nurse before sending her to get medical attention? Is that standard policy?  Any word of whether this is standard protocol?  Teacher discipline? Common sense police citation? Jeez, people, zero tolerance policies continue to make educational institutions silly and sometimes dangerous places.

Come on in! The water is fine!

JAN 13TH – More great news for athletes competing in sailing, open-water swimming, and triathlon at the Olympics in Rio de Janeiro in August:  dead fish and garbage!  Officials are investigating and aren’t too worried, because the fish were likely dumped from trawlers due to their low commercial value.  The trash is just, well, plain old floating trash.  They will report back in five days with their water analysis.  I’d get caught up on all my shots, is all I’m saying.

UPDATE: Haven’t heard anything from Brazilian officials, so I’m sure the tests came back fine.  Commence selling all that crappy Rio Olympic merchandise!

Contrasts in Duty – Washington Edition

According to news reports, the scientists at Reagan National Airport were unable to successfully measure the total snowfall there, because their measurement tool was buried under the snow.  Curious, that the forecast was for 30+ inches of snow, and yet they weren’t prepared to measure that much?  Or secure their measurement device? According to FOX news:

The team at Reagan National, in Arlington County, Va., use a device called a snow board, in keeping with the requirements of the NWS. The board is supposed to be placed on the ground in a location where it will not be affected by high winds or drifting snow. It is supposed to be wiped clean and replaced every six hours.

But don’t worry, they are going to figure out what happened:

The error prompted the National Weather Service (NWS) to announce that it will be looking into the procedures used at Reagan National, where the official snow totals for the nation’s capital are recorded.

Meanwhile, four miles away at Arlington National Cemetery, the U.S. Army did not let the weather deter them from their duty at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier:

unknownsoldier

The 3d U.S. Army Infantry Regiment, “The Old Guard”, on duty this weekend.

Hallmark Channel to obtain rights to Iran/US Sailor Story

The Hallmark Channel is close to receiving approvals from the State Department to produce a heartwarming, feel-good movie about the happy, diplomatic resolution to yesterday’s interaction between the Iranian and US Navies.  According to State sources, the US Naval vessels were straying into Iranian waters as a result of some sort of mechanical failure.  The Iranian Navy  provided mechanical assistance (and even checked out the American communications equipment for good measure), kept the sailors warm and safe (to include a hijab for the female sailor), and provided overnight accommodations (the hummus was reportedly out of this world), before sending them on their way.  State also added that there were unconfirmed reports of hugs exchanged before the US vessels got back underway.  It is unknown whether the piece would include portrayal of the potential disciplinary action for those American sailors who were clearly in the wrong.

“Our viewers look forward to schmaltzy stories of new found friendships and dramatic changes of heart ; we make a lot of money making up stories in that vein, but producing a story based on a real-life event would be a big win for us” said Barry Heart, Senior Executive of Production.

The two-hour special will highlight the new environment of cooperation between the two previously at-odds nations, and how diplomacy and civilized discourse can solve any problem.   Hallmark expects to receive approval from the State Department this week.  The production would be slated to air in mid or late October.

Who knew this would be so popular? Oh, I did…

smartmouth

Anne Taintor products of all kinds available on Amazon.com

I ordered this magnet for a few of my friends (and one for myself) for Christmas, and was not at all surprised to receive the following email from Amazon:

Hello,

Due to a lack of availability, we will not be able to obtain the following item(s) from your order:

“Anne Taintor Square Magnet, Smart Mouth Teenager”

We’ve canceled the item(s) and apologize for the inconvenience. If you see a charge for the canceled item, we will refund you within 1-2 business days.

How-Old.net and My Two Cranky Sons

howold net

It seems to think Cranky Son #1 is a 24 year old man, while Cranky Son #2 is a 7-year old girl.  Please don’t tell him. Come to think of it, don’t mention it to either of them.

Mother of the Year

No sarcasm intended here. Apparently this mom took her son to task for being a punk-ass thug during the “protests” (PC term for rioting and looting cuz you can) in Baltimore. He’s not so tough when his Mom comes around, eh? Rock on Mom, Child Protective Services is probably at your house already, but law enforcement will continue to let Baltimore burn.

Somebody did NOT want to work on Math today…

Just a doodle at the bottom of the page from Cranky Son #2:

liammath

Wow. Horns, cool fumanchu, and icicles on my words!!

Tehran University Wins Bid for Obama Presidential Library

200px-University_of_Tehran_logo.svg

Go Blue Jackals!

TEHRAN, IRAN – The Barack Obama Foundation has announced that Tehran University will be the site of the Obama Presidential Library.

The announcement comes after almost a year of behind-the-scenes negotiations and jockeying, largely among the University of Illinois at Chicago, University of Chicago, University of Hawaii, and Coumbia University.  The Tehran University was a late entrant to the bidding process, and yet seems to have closed the deal.  Close Obama friend, Martin Nesbitt was charged with overseeing the bidding process, and announced that

“Tehran University put together the most comprehensive package, committing to a very generous capital investment and a strong commitment to developing future programming.  The library will be a monument to Obama’s eight years in office, and the base from which he will launch future initiatives”.

While the costs for a domestic site were estimated around $500 million, the Tehran University site is expected to cost almost double that, provided economic sanctions are lifted before construction begins.  These figures would ensure that the library would be the most expensive in history. “TU committed to a number that blew all the domestic sites right out of the water”, noted Nesbitt’s assistant Daniel Hader, “they have the means and the will to ensure the Obama Presidential Library will be a proper monument to this great man”.   The University will also sponsor the Barack H. Obama School of International Relations, Diplomacy, and Ethics, the first school of its kind in the nation. With TU funding most of the construction,additional fundraising efforts will largely support programming and maintenance of the library. The fundraising arm of the Foundation has collected almost $5 million this year. These funds will be forwarded to the new team in Tehran, which will coordinate fundraising with both Foundation and University donor lists, hoping to ensure an effort that will fund programming and activities for generations to come.

Attention: It is April 2nd. PLEASE take down those Christmas Wreaths.

A pet peeve of mine are those sad, crunchy brown Christmas wreaths that adorn houses all over the suburbs.  I know they tend to become invisible (you’ve become “wreath-blind”), and I know we have had an insane amount of snow, but man, they are a fire hazard!  They could go up at any moment.  Easter is Sunday.  Please take a moment for the safety of your family, and take down those wreaths!

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