UPDATE: Starbucks Drops the Bugs!!

After facing withering pressure from the vegetarian/vegan/kosher/halal/PETA/Bug-Loving segment of its client base, and reported here,  Starbucks has dropped the cochineal bug extract from its red-colored foods. Now a tomato-based extract will be used. Strawberry Frappuccinos will now cost $9.00 a pop. Hooray!

Vegans Ticked off that there are BUGS in their Frappuccino

OH THE HORROR! First, it’s funny that only vegans are bummed about bugs in their designer beverages, shouldn’t we all be?  Second, it is ironic that “bugs” count as ”animals” in the vegan pantheon.  Don’t we accidentally eat bugs all the time?  Are there such things as endangered insects? (As a matter of fact, there are).   Don’t vegans read labels and relentlessly study everything before they eat it?

The bugs in question are cochineal beetles – used in a bazillion things we eat every day.  They are used for their red color, and according to Wikipedia can be found in “meat, sausages, processed poultry products, surimi, marinades, alcoholic drinks, bakery products and toppings, cookies, desserts, icings, pie fillings, jams, preserves, gelatin desserts, juice beverages, varieties of cheddar cheese and other dairy products, sauces, and sweets”.  Starbucks uses the beetle extract in lieu of artificial, chemical, potentially carcinogenic colorings.

Save the bugs! PETA is mad, too.   According to their website, “Reportedly, 70,000 beetles must be killed to produce one pound of this red dye. Used in cosmetics, shampoos, red apple sauce, and other foods (including red lollipops and food coloring). May cause allergic reaction. Alternatives: beet juice (used in powders, rouges, shampoos; no known toxicity), alkanet root (from the root of this herb-like tree; used as a red dye for inks, wines, lip balms, etc.; no known toxicity; can also be combined to make a copper or blue coloring)”.

But that’s not all:  it seems that devout Muslims should be upset because eating foods with these beetles is haraam (forbidden), and Jews should also avoid eating these products (though they are not specifically designated as treif (non-conforming)).

But wait, vegetarians, vegans, Muslims, Jews, and PETA : there is more bad news!  The FDA has guidelines for how many insects can be in your other supposed vegan-safe foods before it is an actionable item in inspection.  Among others:

Macaroni and Noodle products can have “average of 225 insect fragments or more than 225 grams in 6 or more subsamples”.  Yummy!

Spices, like Crushed Oregano can have an “average of 300 or more insect fragments per 10 grams”. Crunchy!

Peas and Beans (Dried) can “average 5% or more by count insect-infested and/or insect-damaged by storage insects in a minimum of 12 subsamples”.  Mmmmm.

Golden Raisins can have “10 or more whole or equivalent insects and 35 Drosophilia eggs per 8 oz.”  Fruit flies.  Fruit flies or their equivalent.  Delicious!

Good news for all:  you can save $6 and purchase a different beverage.  Novel, huh? Embrace the bugs; they will be here longer than we will.  Honestly.

Free Pastry at Starbucks on Tuesday 3/23

Here we go again – tomorrow Starbucks will offer a free pastry to patrons that purchase a beverage. The deal ends at 10:30 in the morning, so get there early, I guess.

As usual, you need a coupon (here). Purchase of beverage includes drip coffee, and you can get any one of Starbucks breakfast pastries. Restrictions listed on the coupon (it doesn’t include Barnes & Noble Starbucks).  You don’t have to print it out, you can show it on your mobile device.

Starbucks employees are better than you, and they think you’re fat, uncultured swine

I often peruse the Starbucks Gossip website to see what’s going on the world of overpriced, yet delicious, custom coffees.  A recent post explained that Starbucks is test-marketing a beverage size larger than the Venti: the new 31-ounce Trenta (presumably for iced coffees and teas only). Taking a look through the comments (which appear to be made by store baristas, cashiers, and managers), I’m shocked that they think the size is too ridiculous, and simply not good for you. They are put off by the fact that they’ll run out of product faster, and that nobody considers the “labor” involved.  They think if you order a Trenta Frappuccino (or any super-size  beverage), you’re a lard ass, and they probably in good conscience can’t serve you. They hate you, they hate Starbucks, and apparently hate  being employed.  Here’s a smattering of their comments:

I will totally be judging people who come into my store and order a trenta size. I don’t care that it’s just coffee or tea, it’s still ridiculous.Get a hold of yourself. Learn some restraint. Learn to enjoy the huge ass 20+ oz size you already have. Don’t just quaff it like some dehydrated animal.”

Most customers are assholes because they feel they can talk down to people because they spend 5 dollars on coffee.

Why call it Trenta? What does Trenta mean? More confusing rhetoric for the masses and a new word in Wikipedia! (yeah, because ‘Tall’, ‘Grande’ and ‘Venti’ are so intuitive and make sense to “the masses”)

Dear god please no

We have customers who slurp down multiple venti drinks a day. If they see the trenta cup, they will demand a trenta drink whether it’s on the menu or not. And we’ll give it to them because that’s what’s expected of us. I personally find it disgusting.

I hope Trenta will not be a new size for us permanently. Seems too mcdonalds/gas station like to me. I’d rather not feed into America’s already crazy obese culture.

Feed the pigs their slop.

“If Starbucks starts offering beverages in a ‘Big Gulp’ size, I’m quitting my job.” (this person also promised to move to Canada in 2004 if George W. Bush was re-elected)

However those customers that frequently and habitually indulge in caloric nightmares are the ones who are increasing health care costs across the spectrum. Obesity and all of the numerous health disasters that arise from a person’s irresponsibility is falling in the lap of those who are taking care of themselves and making right decisions. I don’t care if you are obese as long as you are trying to do something about your health and NOT ordering a venti peppermint white mocha extra whipped cream extra caramel drizzle. thanks.

The Bux is still making profit, but what about labor? What about inventory?

The idea of having to holler out some ridiculous name like “trenta” all day and hand out huge ass cups to our piggish customers seems somewhat humiliating to me, even if it is, at the end of the day, the customer’s decision, because it makes me feel like my job has become a sloppy joke.

 Only a few comments stood out as positive on the item:

I am a bit surprised by the positive reaction to this from customers. But I will happily watch the sales go into the register from it.

We are talking about teas and coffee which has little to no calories. If customers request frapps in trentas that’s good for us because we can charge them 7 dollars for it.

it was PERFECT for iced tea. Go for it!

STARBUCKS FREE PASTRY DAY (with stupid coupon)

On Tuesday, July 21st, Starbucks will be giving away a free pastry with a beverage purchase (beverage must be handcrafted, brewed, or iced). Hurry! This offer only lasts from store opening to 10:30am, or until pastries run out! I would personally opt for the apple fritter. Offer not valid in Hawaii, airports, or Barnes & Noble locations.

OH, HERE’S THE CATCH - since it’s Starbucks, you’ll need this COUPON to get the free pastry. Please print it out, or show the barista the coupon on your hand-held device.  Pretty weak, huh?  Dunkin’ Donuts gives away a kajilliondonuts with purchase all day on National Donut Day (which was June 5th) and they don’t need no stinkin’ coupon.  Krispy Kreme didn’t even require a purchase (are they even in business any more?). Isn’t the average Starbucks customer not exactly the coupon-clipping type? Pathetic. Cheap bastards. If I rush, I can still make it there by 10:30 after my 9:00  tire appointment.

Jihad against Starbucks!!!

But please don’t burn anthing down; an Egyptian cleric wants to boycott Starbucks and have the chain kicked out of all Islamic countries because of the Jewish lady on their logo (she doesn’t even show her breasts any more like she originally did).  Oh, you thought she was a mythological siren?  Or perhaps a mermaid?  Read the article.  You’ve all been fooled.

According to their store locator, Starbucks has five locations in Egypt (the Saudis have only two), all in the same area.  Couldn’t get directions, though.