BREAKING: Magic Bean Firm Closes its Doors Despite $2Billion Govt Loan

WASHINGTON: While the Obama administration is facing intensifying scrutiny on the prudence of a number of “green company” guaranteed government loans, yet another company has shut it doors after receiving a $2 billion loan from the government only six months ago. Magic Beans, a privately held firm, received $2 billion in loans to finance their “mystical, magical, beanstalk windmill” project. The firm was supposedly devising a new genetically modified beanstalk that would eventually grow into a windmill-like structure, that could eventually be harnessed to produce wind power. The firm is based in downtown Washington, DC, and employed a dozen or so former lobbyists that worked to gain the loans as part of the President’s Green Power Works program. None of the firm’s board or any employee could be reached for comment. A White House spokesman claimed that “the business plan seemed solid, and it made us feel really warm inside to give them the seed money. Get it?  Seed money?”
The Obama administration is under fire for this and several other seemingly stupid investments that include the now bankrupt firms Solyndra, Evergreen Solar,  and SpectraWatt.

BBQ Diplomacy

Got some pesky dictatorship that wants to be a nuclear power in order to wipe another nation off the map?  Simple!  Invite the rogues to a Fourth of July BBQ!  The new and improved diplomacy team at Obamamart, with it’s trademarked ‘Smart Diplomacy’, has issued a directive to ‘invite Iranians to the festivities’ (don’t go out of your way to invite Israelis or British).  Generally, American embassies around the world hold celebrations of July 4th, and they’ve been authorized to invite the Iranians for a cookout.  Nothing says ‘we respect you and your quest for nuclear power’ like hot dogs and hamburgers, and maybe some potato salad.  Do they have watermelon in the Middle East?  It is a little known fact that during the summer of 1979, the American embassy in Tehran had a little cookout, and invited the locals to attend.  Since the Shah had been exiled since January of that year, and Iran had just voted to become an Islamic Republic, and approved a theocratic constitution, the embassy wanted to welcome the new Iranian leader, the Ayatollah Khomeini.  The experience didn’t so go well, with scantily clad female embassy employees serving hot dogs of questionable origins, spicy pork ribs, while drinking beer throughout the day.  We all know what happened in November of that year.  Maybe this time will be different!

The devil’s in the details, Tim!

The Associated Press today reported:

President Barack Obama’s Treasury secretary says the administration will unveil a series of rules and measures in the coming months to limit the ability of international companies to avoid U.S. taxes.

Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner told the House Waysand Means Committee on Tuesday that Obama will propose legislation to limit U.S. companies’ ability to shelter foreign earnings from taxation in the U.S. He also said the administration will try to limit wealthy Americans’ ability to use tax havens to avoid taxation.

He did not immediately provide details.

Hmmmmmm. I’m sensing a theme.  Obviously, I added bold type, but really, this is how it was reported.