Best. Halftime. Show. Ever

Forgive me while I catch up on a few items:  Despite a monumentally disappointing Patriots loss in Super Bowl XLVI, I would have to say that 53 year-old Madonna put on the best halftime show ever. Ever. She proved that she’s the best of the geezer-stars (remember the Who last year? Prince? Springsteen? Petty? Rolling Stones?). Sure, Madge seemed a little stiff on the dance numbers, but she was playing hurt, and that MUST count for something on Super Bowl Sunday (right, Gronk?). I admit that I’m a Madonna fan, so I am predisposed to enjoy her stuff, but as a fan, I understand that there is a risk of inappropriate material, bad language, etc.  I mean, we’re talking Madonna here – she has made a coupla bucks being provocative in the past. I enjoyed the show, which was epic in the Cecile B. DeMille kind of way, from the dramatic entrance to the costume changes, to the dance numbers, to the co-star cameos.   There she was, the Queen of Pop (take note, Gaga), being pulled by muscular, sandal-wearing, bronze and leopard skin armor-clad, Roman soldiers! My boys were PSYCHED to see Roman soldiers at the Super Bowl! There were no “extras” on the stage – only a group of trained dancers who obviously rehearsed a lot. We are a long way from “Up with People” who were always on at halftime when I was a kid.  She should do the show every year.  Oh, and as far as whole middle finger brouhaha, I did not notice it during the live show, and think it was blown way out of proportion.  And I’m a Cranky Mommy.

Madonna donates $500k to Italy

Madonna pledged $500,000 to assist the earthquake-ravaged area of Italy which was also home to her grandparents.  The United States of America also kicked in $50,000, but they aren’t getting as much press as Madonna. An unnamed spokesperson for the Obama Administration said “Honestly, all the destroyed hovels put together aren’t worth $10,000, but there’s historical stuff there, too, so we sent way more.  Nobody mentioned all the copies of “Dreams from My Father” or J.Crew gift cards that we sent to help those poor bastards ease the pain.  No – nobody mentions that!”

Everybody’s sorry when they get BUSTED….

Alex Rodriguez confessed that he used performance-enhancing drugs from 2001-2003 while playing with the Texas Rangers. Rodriguez admitted that he’s not entirely sure of which chemicals he used for three years, and that he was under tremendous pressure to perform in Texas, where it’s hot every day, and that the “loosey-goosey” acceptance of drug use made it easy to try to get “an edge”.

He also admitted to using grossly bad judgement in trying to have an affair with 50-year old Madonna.  His “wake-up” call came when he found that Madonna had bigger balls than him, his having shrunken to the size of small grapes after steroid use.