UPDATED: High Ratings 1st Sign of the Apocalypse ::::Tonight on ESPN: A very special episode of the Lebron James Saga

UPDATED:  Sadly, the ratings results are in, and we’ve surely seen the first sign of the apocalypse.  According to MediaDailyNews:

ESPN said James program “The Decision,” that announced he is leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers, his longtime team, for the Miami Heat pulled a Nielsen preliminary 7.3 household rating, the best non-NFL programming rated show this year.

Fifteen minutes into the broadcast — between 9:15 and 9:30 p.m., when James made his announcement — the ratings climb to a 9.6 rating.

The news easily topped other single interview sports programming specials — higher than the 0.4 household rating for a Tiger Woods interview on March 21, 2010, and an Alex Rodriguez interview Feb. 9, 2009, which took a 0.9 rating.

Tonight, self-proclaimed “King” Lebron James will announce his decision as to which team he will grace with his presence next season (for a kajillion dollars, or so). The pundits, for what it’s worth, have been blathering on and on about this since before the King’s men were ousted from the playoffs by the Boston Celtics.  There are some real divas in professional sports, but this ESPN “special” really takes the cake. How do you suppose this one hour show will go? Lebron announces where he’s going in the first five minutes of the show, then interview follows? Nope. I’m guessing for an American Idol-type finale, where ESPN totally lames out and does a retrospective on James in excruciating detail, with lots of spiffy footage of slam dunks, “rare” photos from his childhood, etc. At about 9:45pm, the “big announcement” will be made and Stewart Scott will be the “first interview after the decision is made”. Wow, I’ve GOT to tune in! I’ve got to make sure I watch so that when someone asks, “where were you when Lebron James announced his decision?”, I can honestly say “I was totally watching it live, I remember it like it was yesterday!  It’s not like: “where were you when JFK was shot?  Where were you when the space shuttle blew up?  Where were you on 9/11? I’m not sure which is more pathetic: the diva and his egomaniacal need to be the center of attention, or the sports media, pandering to and enabling this behavior. Apparently the TV special dubbed “The Decision” will generate some money for charity, because James is so committed to the community and children, and his decision has generated “a lot of buzz”.  I can’t wait to see the ratings on this steaming pile of self-aggrandizing tripe.  Here are ten other things you could watch at 9pm tonight (check your local listings):

1. Rookie Blue (new on ABC): The police department throws a “Fite Nite” charity event (the literacy event was cancelled).  This is a close call, because this show sounds pretty bad. I gave it top billing because it’s new.

2. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS) it’s a repeat, but I’m sure you could work with it – it’s the “Dr. Jekyll serial killer” episode.

3. So you think you can Dance (FOX) Live! Way more action than ESPN

4. Antiques Roadshow (PBS) Repeat from Salt Lake City - seriously, still better than ESPN

5. Perro Amor (Telemundo) that’s “Puppy Love” in english.  I don’t understand the whole description, but the words “grave conflict” are definitely in there. Is this the one Eric Estrada is in?

6. Jersey Shore (MTV) Repeat: the crew goes to Atlantic City, one of them has an eating disorder (but no other issues at all).

7. Police Women of Memphis (TLC) New! follow the Memphis police gals…”Arica goes beyond the call of duty by retrieving a detainee’s gold teeth for him“. Lebron doesn’t even have gold teeth!!!

8. Break it Down (National Geographic Channel) The USS Savannah is dismantled at a scrap yard after more than 20 years of carrying fuel for the Navy’s fleet. What’s not to like?

9. I Didn’t know I was Pregnant (Discovery Health) Repeat: Baby on a Boat – a woman at sea gives birth.  How did the TV crews know to be there?  Slightly less planned out and dramatic than “The Decision”.

10. The Universe (History Channel) Light speed is examined. I’m a nerd, so this is fine, too.

Personally, I’d rather watch Paul the Octopus pick the winner of the World Cup – Paul is 100% accurate so far on his picks in relation to the German national team.  I’m hoping his keepers at the Sea Life Aquarium in Oberhausen, Germany drop down those crazy boxes again with flags of the Netherlands and Spain on them (I’m sure they won’t drop down boxes showing Cavaliers, Bulls, Heat, Knicks, or Nets symbols).  My kids love Paul, and were rooting heavily for the Spanish in yesterday’s game, to give Paul more credibility.  Here he is choosing Spain (which is infinitely more interesting than Lebron James). RESPECT THE CEPHALOPOD!  Naturally, PETA is calling for Paul’s immediate release.

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NBA Fines President Obama $150K for Lebron Comments

Citing anti-tampering rules, the NBA and Commissioner David Stern have assessed a fine of $150,000 to President Barack Obama. Commissioner Stern determined that a fine was in order after reviewing the President’s interview with TNT’s Marv “The Back-Biter” Albert. When asked about the future of Lebron James, the President responded “You know, like I said, I don’t want to meddle. I will say this: Rose, Noah, it’s a pretty good core. You know, you could see Lebron fitting in pretty well there”.

The Commissioner recently fined Dallas Maverick’s owner Mark Cuban ($100,000), and Phoenix Sun’s President Steve Kerr ($10,000) for similar comments,again citing the tampering rules.  Commissioner Stern was almost apologetic in assessing the fine, because “Now everybody knows that, like the Olympics, Lebron won’t EVER go to Chicago; the President has jinxed it for them.  It’s a shame to assess the fine when absolutely nothing will come of it.”  White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs would not field questions about the fine.

“The One” & “King James” – Fragile?

This week, the press and corporate America rushed to the aid of her respective masters: Barack Obama and LeBron James.  Ahhh….President Obama (and Nicolas Sarkozy) were checking out a hot Brazilian delegate’s behind at the G-8 this week, and LeBron James was viciously dunked upon by a college player.  No big deal, right? WRONG.  ABC has come to her master’s defense, showing the video of the situation, explaining how photos can be misleading.  Nike, proud sponsor of LeBron James, confiscated multiple videos of the pick-up game at the LeBron James Skills Academy, claiming that recording the event was not permitted, to prevent it from being widely distributed over the Internet.  One article suggests that the videos were seized at James’ request. Are these men and their egos and reputations so fragile that they, their handlers, and supporters bend over backwards to ‘protect’ them from any type of besmirching, or even the hint of besmirching?  Pathetic.

I couldn’t be happier….

…Sorry, Cleveland, but I’m thrilled to hear the abrupt end to all the “who’s better…Kobe or Lebron” nonsense that’s been polluting all avenues of sports reporting. Does that make me a bad person? Hah! I’m glad to see the Nike/Vitamin Water/Gatorade mega campaigns crash and burn as they rush for Dwight Howard and Superman tie-ins. I’m glad that everybody realizes that one man doesn’t make a team, and that a truly great player can make his teammates better. Now the rumor talk can begin, will Lebron stay in Cleveland? Will he go to New York? Who cares? I feel for the fans of Cleveland, I really do.

 I was really pulling for the crazy-ass, overly tattooed Denver Nuggets, but Kobe played a leader role in game 6 (as opposed to the Iron Man role he so often embraces), and that made all the difference.  Finals start on Thursday, Go Magic!