Piglet implicated in HAYCORN sting operation

James O’Keefe, via BigGovernment.com has announced that he has a very special undercover video that implicates beloved Hundred Acre Wood resident Piglet in the latest HAYCORN sting operation. In the video, O’Keefe claims that Piglet, and perhaps others in the Wood, are participating in small-scale child prostitution ring. We can only guess that one of the children in question is Christopher Robin, and that it is the clients that are imported illegally into the Hundred Acre Wood. O’Keefe admitted, “I always thought Rabbit was a cantankerous old bugger, but I think Piglet is simply diabolical”.  O’Keefe entered the Hundred Acre Wood posing as a potential client for the prostitution ring, asking for a ‘bright young boy that likes outdoor adventure”. During the conversation, O’Keefe asked Piglet about a giant hole dug in the forest near his home, and Piglet indicated that he wanted to expand business by acquiring more prostitutes, saying it was:

“A trap for ho-ho’s,” said Piglet huskily. “I’ve just made it, and I’m waiting for the ho-ho to come-come.”

When asked if he was afraid of law enforcement or nosy neighbors interfering with his business, Piglet downplayed the difficulty of running such an operation:

“And I know it seems easy, but it isn’t everyone who could do it.”

When asked questions about his relationship with Christopher Robin, Piglet became agitated, and hastily ended the interview with:

“I think,” (said Piglet, when he had licked the tip of his nose too, and found that it brought very little comfort), “I think that I have just remembered something. I have just remembered something that I forgot to do yesterday and shan’t be able to do tomorrow. So I suppose I really ought to go back and do it now.”

More details are to be released in the next week.  The Disney Corporation has not been available for comment.

Charlie Gibson – the pulse of the nation

This week, ABC News anchorman Charlie Gibson acknowledged that he “hadn’t heard about” the ongoing ACORN video scandal (videos are being released  by BigGovernment.com daily). It appears that Mr. Gibson gets his news from CNN and other legacy media sources, and knew about Kanye West’s outburst, the fact that Patrick Swayze died, that Senator Joe Wilson interrupted the president, and that the whole vampire trend is really popular right now in the 18-32 age group. Gibson also admitted to not knowing about the U.S. abandoning six-party talks with North Korea (we’ll go it alone), the fact that the Senate voted to strip ACORN of federal housing funds, and that Joe Wilson has generated almost $1 million in campaign donations after his outburst.

Note: Until this morning, the ACORN story has not been featured in the top 20 headlines in the  ’Latest News’ section on CNN.  The headline, however, is ”ACORN ‘deeply disturbed’ by videos, CEO says ”.  If you’ve been reading CNN, you have no idea about the videos in the first place, so this can be very confusing.  I call it “Media-induced Alzheimer’s (MIA)”.

If it’s Wednesday….

…it must be time for another ACORN video! It sure is like a tawdry television show, where we see community support (aiding and abetting in legal terms) for underage prostitution and money laundering in different cities across America; now THAT’s what I call community organizing! Thank goodness Patrick Swayze died yesterday so that the majority of Old-school media can cover that top story, and on-line readers will be watching clips from Dirty Dancing, Ghost, and Road House instead of the latest video. Maybe somebody famous will die today to give the media another reason not to cover this!  Stay tuned, I think there’s to be another thrilling episode tomorrow!

Idol News: Lambert to sue FOX TV, AT&T over ‘voter irregularities’

Audiences were stunned when this season’s American Idol was crowned, and it wasn’tAdam Lambert.  Kris Allen, the contest’s anticipated runner-up was also stunned when the results were announced live by the ever-smirky Ryan Seacrest.  The two contestants had nothing but positive things to say about each other, but disturbing information has surfaced related to certain ‘voter irregularities’ prior to final tabulation.

It seems that there were several ‘watch parties’ in Arkansas (Mr. Allen’s home state), in which AT&T representatives provided demo phones, and personal instruction on how to text using the phones.  There are also allegations that the AT&T representatives instructed the party goers how to ‘power text’, which can text 10 messages at one time.  There were no such parties in Mr. Lambert’s home state of California. 

Further investigation of the matter has revealed that the Kris Allen camp or FOX Television had hired the Association of Community Organizers for Reform Now (ACORN) to ‘get the vote out’ for Kris near the end of the season.  It is assumed that FOX initiated the move and may have  paid ACORN itself to avoid what an unnamed source calls “another Clay Aiken nightmare”. AT&T would also bear responsibility in the suit, if it is found to have provided undue advantage to obvious Allen supporters.  An AT&T spokesperson said “we are certain that anyone representing themselves as AT&T employees at those parties is not being truthful; why would we encourage free texting and not sign anyone up for new phones and plans at those parties?  I smell an ACORN in this, and we’ll have no part of it.  We’re confident that we’ll be cleared of any wrongdoing”.  FOX Television refused to comment.

No arrests have been made, and the investigation continues at this time.  Mr. Allen and Mr. Lambert have been unavailable for comment, but Mr. Lambert is reportedly discussing the matter with his attorney to finalize plans before formally announcing a lawsuit .