BREAKING: Parent Group announces Coke and Twinkies Lunch Day – March 30

METROWEST MASSACHUSETTS: Fed up with the ever-increasing regulations on children’s school lunches sent from home, and reports of unacceptable food “discipline” in other parts of the country, a group of Massachusetts parents have announced that they would like to hold a “Coke and Twinkies” lunch day in all Massachusetts public schools.  The event aims to reinforce the concept that parents make the decisions as to what’s in their children’s homemade lunches (except for peanuts and tree nuts, and strictly banned items, of course). Samantha Freeman, mother of 3 elementary school children in Middlesex County says “One lunch like this won’t hurt anybody, and it will send a message to the schools that our parental prerogatives are being ignored. Schools and teacher groups generally support all those “Occupy” movements, well this is an “occupy the cafeteria” situation.”  Ms. Blackburn suggests that parents pack Coke and Twinkies, or other frowned-upon lunch items in addition to their child’s regular lunch on Friday, March 30th.  The group hopes that word of mouth will make the coordinated presence of junk foods in the cafeteria noticeable to school administrators, who should take note of the “protest”.  The group hopes readers will forward this information to potential participants.

Note: The National Center for Public Policy Research held a “Lunch-In” on February 23rd in Washington DC to protest the aggressive guidelines increasingly applied to homemade lunches.

Chocolate Milk Ire in the Bay State

BOSTON: Massachusetts legislators have banned chocolate milk from public schools in the Commonwealth beginning in the 2012-2013 school year, as part of its “Superior Parenting for You (SPY)” campaign that targets making better choices for your children, because parents are completely unqualified to do so. One of the stated goals of the SPY program is to “provide consistent, state-mandated guidance in as many areas as possible for the children of our Commonwealth”, and to “maximize the state’s positive influences as much as possible during the school day”.  ”We are giving parents a helping hand in this crazy, stressful world” boasts SPY Director Nina “Nanny” Rousseau.  Critics claim that the ban of something innocuous like chocolate milk may cause public school children to seethe with anger when they find that their private school brethren can still swill down the calcium, vitamin,  and protein-laden chocolately goodness, causing concerns about widening the gulf between the “haves and have-nots”. Massachusetts parents need not worry, though: public schools can still distribute condoms and birth control pills without your consent, and in some cases provide gynecological services without parental permission. Private schools can’t do THAT. These education professionals know what they are doing, so just stand back and let them work!

Get Wet ‘n Sandy!

My Cranky Boys shown here on Spectacle Island, in Boston Harbor last week.  They learned about getting “wet and sandy” by watching the Discovery Channel’s documentary that followed a class through the six-month  Navy Seal BUD/S training program.  For those unfamiliar with the term, its tip #9 in the ‘Top 10 Thinks to Know Before BUD/S” from Military.com‘s fitness center:

9. Wet and Sandy

Jumping into the ocean then rolling around in the sand is a standard form of punishment / motivation for the class at BUD/S. It is cold and not comfortable, so you just have to prepare yourself for getting wet and sandy everyday at BUD/S. On days that you do not get wet and sandy, it will be the same feeling as getting off early at work on a three-day weekend!

Beware: after watching the videos, your kids may start saying things like “let’s do some log PT?”,  “it pays to be a winner”, “second place is first loser”, and “the only easy day was yesterday”. Take your chances.

Yep, I was there…

…in Boston at the Tea Party on Wednesday, the 14th. It was a pretty mellow gathering, truth be told. Someone today asked me how it was, and I said “it was nice”. I was in Worcester last year, and it was really rowdy, but I was hanging with some older folks in Boston, and it was very low-key (and I wandered around a lot, and I didn’t see much rowdy at all).  I forgot how pretty Boston is in springtime, and it was a beautiful day to see Sarah P. in Massachusetts(!), get a burrito from my favorite cart vendor, and feel the rumble of the MBTA beneath my park bench as I basked in the midday sun for the quietest lunch I’ve had in years.

Back off ladies, he’s married -

This handsome, well-educated, self-described “progressive”  Bostonian shared his opinion of Sarah Palin at today’s Tea Party event in Boston. His wife was unable to join him because she had to stay home to make his sandwiches, dammit!

The parachute won’t open….

….unless you pull the ripcord! We can keep hurtling to our detriment toward the cold, hard, ground, or we can slow down the pace of our descent, giving us time to figure out the best way to land and start over. Pulling the ripcord can only be done by electing Scott Brown to the US Senate. Any way you slice it, he’s the answer to most of our ills right now, and will send the message that the days of backroom deals, bribes, government takeovers, and outright thuggery are over.  REMEMBER TO VOTE!

It’s officially winter in New England

The Red Sox are the first team knocked out of this year’s MLB playoffs, after being swept by the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (assisted by a hideous outing by closer Jonathan Pabelbon, now childishly and deservedly taunted as “Papelbomb’). In Red Sox Nation, it means the official start to winter. It is now OK to turn on the heat in your home, tune up the snowblower, and put snow stakes in your driveway.

Tall Ships – Is there a brig in this vessel?

A beautiful day gone wrong when the kids had an absolute shit fit about not getting a soda on board our harbor cruise of the Tall Ships in Boston this weekend. The tour guide was very entertaining, and he kept quizzing us on history, boats, sailing, etc., and would reward the first correct answer with a free soda. (Where are the highest tides in the world?  Anyone?  Somebody shouted out “The Bay of Fundy”, “Correct”, said the guide, “that’s a free soda for you, my friend”.) My number one son was getting very frustrated that others were ‘winning’ free sodas, and scolded me and my husband for not knowing the answers and letting him know. “You’re welcome” I said, “for the wonderful afternoon we’re having”. Number two son joined in on the pissing and moaning for the remainder. It was a long car ride home for all.

(This is a photo of the steel-hulled Romanian vessel ‘Mircea’, originally built to train the Romanian navy. It’s 328 feet long, and was overhauled in 2002, making it one of the most modern ships in her class)

UPDATED: Don’t plan the BBQ just yet (BREAKING: Zoo animals may be euthanized, cooked to feed the homeless)

UPDATED:  Massachusetts legislators are going to ‘try and reinstate’ the zoo’s funding to stem the public uproar over this story.  They’ve been pressured into action by their own means (which usually means threatening the public with the ‘what about the children’ argument), using the ‘what about the cute fuzzy animals’ argument.  We’ll see if they actually come through on this one.

 

Boston – The Franklin Park Zoo, in the throes of intense budget shortfalls after Governor Patrick cut funding by over 60%, has announced that it may have to euthanize some animals (mostly the cutest furry ones) to contain costs. They assure taxpayers that they will hold massive bar-b-ques open to the public to feed the euthanized animals to those who need it most. The Governor has shot back at Zoo New England (which owns and operates both the Franklin Park and Stone Zoos), saying these are unfair, incendiary threats.  Zoo officials could not be reached for comment at this time.

Tall Ships in Boston – The Eagle

 

This is the Eagle, at the Charlestown Navy Yard.  The Eagle was originally a German training vessel for the German Navy in World War II (under the name Horst Wessel), but was taken as a war prize in 1946 (by us), and commissioned the ‘Eagle’. It is the only active sailing vessel in U.S. military service.